


Letters From Me To Sakamoto

by pikachuch1mchar



Series: Heart Swells [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Ah but anyways it's fluffy and sometimes I cry when writing it enjoy, Just make sure you sanitize the needle, Love Letters, M/M, Pure Fluff to inject directly into your veins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-20 13:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13719033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikachuch1mchar/pseuds/pikachuch1mchar
Summary: Letters aren't always the most direct way to get feelings across, but it's the only way he can convince himself to do it. So, he slides the letter into the locker, hoping he'll understand. That he'll love him back.





	1. They Promised They'd Be Best Of Friends From Now Until Forever

_Eggs, some juice, carrots, that bread mom likes… shit, what was it again? Argh, I've been eating it my whole life! Come on…_

Ryuji thought as he plodded down the steps of the school building. He usually left after a majority of students went to clubs or left themselves, but of course there were always the miscellaneous chattering groups that buzzed in to white noise as he tried to remember the name of _that damn bread!_ He guessed he could just text her, but he had already told her he knew what to get. He unlocked the door to his shoe locker mechanically, just ready to get his shoes and get out of school. Maybe he would just recognize the bread when he got to the store, he thought as he opened the locker door, and a letter plummeted from inside. 

He stood still in shock at the letter that had just fallen. Was that what he thought it was? The situation of him of all people finding a love letter was surreal; yeah, it's something he's always wanted but him? So many people still thought he was a no-good punk, he didn't think something like this would really happen.

“Woah, Sakamoto, what's that?” Mishima seemed to almost pop into existence behind Ryuji, startling the shit out of the latter.

“Ah! Oh, it's just you,” Ryuji almost felt bad for not noticing his friend, but to be fair he was thinking about important things when he was walking down. He bent down and picked up the letter. “I dunno, it just sort of fell out. Hey, why are you here so late anyways? Usually you're off by now.” 

He wanted to keep the letter kind of to himself until he finally came to terms with the fact that it even existed. Of course when he had he would gloat to Mishima all he could, but right now he just wanted to get the attention off of his letter.

“I was working on something during the tail end of class,” Mishima replied, pride in his face and voice that gave away completely what that ‘something’ was. Part of Ryuji felt like he should be annoyed with Mishimas continuous work on the Phansite even after the Phantom Thieves had disbanded for real. But he couldn't bring himself to. The glint in Mishima’s eye and the pickup in his voice when he talked about how he was recoding or doing some maintenance on the website made Ryuji happy. Happy that his friend was happy and still a nerdy worker bee.

“I guess I lost track of time, though. Anyways, is that a love letter?”

And just like that the new weight in Ryuji’s hand was brought back to his attention.

“Probably,” he said, pretending to be nonchalant about it. He flipped the letter over. It was sealed with a cheap sticker.

“Well, what are you waiting for? What does it say?” Mishima urged. But unfortunately for him, Ryuji wasn't in the mood, and he had an excuse too.

“Well, uh, I mean, what if this girl had something private to say or something? Heh,” he winked to Mishima for effect. “Anyways, I gotta go get some stuff for my mom. See you tomorrow,” He promptly stuffed the letter in to his bag and went to walk out.

“Bye Sakamoto!” He heard Mishima call behind him.

_Should I go to the store near the school or near the apartment…_

\--

_SHIT. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? LIKING HIM IS ONE THING, YOU DIDNT NEED TO ACT ON IT!_

Mishima berated himself with his head face down on his desk, ready for a prompt bang when the embarrassment got too much. 

Mishima liked Ryuji. He didn't remember when he had started, but at some point he began to thrive when he could talk to the blond, began to crave his presence like an addict. And at some point when Ryuji talked about getting a girlfriend, Mishimas heart would plummet. 

The fact that he had written a letter though, the sappiest, least straightforward thing possible? That earned a bang to his head.

Not to mention that he couldn't even hand it to him like he had planned. _Bang._ Ryuji thought a girl had written it. _Bang._ He didnt even get to see if Ryuji reacted well of not. _Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang._

He let his head rest for a moment, flat wood making his head ache. Yeah, that was going to bruise. Hell, when it did he might as well have covered it with a sticky note that says ‘I’m hopeless!’. He sighed. It wasnt like he signed it or anything, Ryuji couldnt know it was him. Mishima didnt know if that was better or worse. 

He could just stop. Try to ignore every yearning pull, and just let them be friends. At the same time though, the stab he felt in his heart whenever Ryuji talked about looking for a girlfriend and his mind crooned uselessly about how _it could be me. You dont have to look far!_ felt like a fate worse than death.

He sighed. This was embarrassing, but he wasn't one to give up anymore. So, he picked out a sheet of paper and a pencil. This time, he would be braver…

\--

No matter how hard Ryuji tried, he couldn't stop thinking about that letter, even as he began to put away the groceries. He took his time putting it all away though, slightly worried that once he got to his bag, it would be gone. 

So, when he put the last item in the pantry and took his bag to his room he was overjoyed to feel the envelope still there and not just something he daydreamed. He opened it excitedly, practically ripping the sticker that sealed the small envelope. Notebook paper was pulled from it, and upon unfolding it some eraser bits fell out. It obviously wasn't a first draft.

_Sakamoto Ryuji,_

I can't bring myself to say this out loud. I've been admiring you for a while, and you are a high point of my life. I hope this doesn't make anything weird, but would you go out with me?

Ryuji read over and over, joy welling up in him. He was even happier after he wiped the rest of the eraser shavings on the ground and read it again. The crinkle of the paper was real. He had a secret admirer! That was so cool! 

His grin didn't fade for the rest of the day, even as he went to bed. Although, one question still lingered.

Who even sent it?

\--

“Mishima! Check this out!” Ryuji called the next day at lunch. The other students in the class only briefly stopped to stare at the intruder as he strode towards Mishima. Mishima quickly snapped up as if he had been dozing into a lunchtime nap, further evidenced by the dark bags under his eyes. They may not have been as deep as they had been months ago when the Phansite was still active, but Ryuji hated to see him with them all the same. Not really hate, so to speak, but like an ache in his being. Like a strong concern, that must have been it. 

“What is it?” Mishima said.

“I,” Ryuji said, pulling the letter from his pocket and pushing concern out of his mind briefly, “Got a love letter!” Cockiness tinted his voice.

Mishimas eyes widened with… something or other. Ryuji couldn't tell, and either way he was preoccupied with bragging.

“Cool, isn't it?” Ryuji said. “And look at what it says!” His excitement was beginning to show, but he felt safe with that in front of Mishima. He opened the letter to his friend, who scanned it almost uncomfortably.

“O-oh, wow... that's really sweet of… whoever sent it.”

“Yeah,” Ryuji said, now noticing Mishimas discomfort. He wasn't like Akira, who always seemed to get down to the slightest subtlety of someone's emotions, but he thought he was getting pretty good at reading people lately. Mostly Mishima. But it made sense, they were close, so of course he would pick up on Mishimas feelings.

“Uh, anyways,” Ryuji wanted to get off topic, he had a feeling that his letter was making the other boy uncomfortable for some reason. “Did you get history class today? Who knew someone could make a war sound so boring!”

“Oh, I think we got that lecture yesterday.”

“Really? Was it as bad as what we got?”

Ryuji felt glad that they were able to talk for the rest of lunch. He was happy spending time with Mishima. But even up until the bell rung, the air of tension never left. Walking back to his class, Ryuji couldn't help but feel guilty. He wanted Mishima to be comfortable. Maybe the awkwardness would be gone by tomorrow.


	2. Your Come On Lines Sound Disastrous

It felt like it had been weeks since Mishima had started writing the letter he was holding. In reality, it had been maybe three days. He wanted to fidget so much. Tug at his hair. Pick at his fingers. Something. But he had to wait until Ryuji came down the stairs. Get the letter out of his hands and into Ryuji’s. Then he could rip his hair out if he wanted. But he couldnt mess up the letter at any cost. It was his second chance!

He waited for a few minutes, statue still with the exception of glancing towards the stairs. Every flash of movement made his heart rate spike in anxiety.

He… He couldn't take this! He was getting too jumpy, the time Ryuji spent hanging around the upper floors was time Mishima’s thoughts ran wild. All the things that could go horribly wrong suddenly felt a lot more likely than what he told himself in the pep-talk before he came down. 

He quickly walked up to Ryuji’s shoe locker and shoved the letter inside. Unlike last time though, he couldnt bring himself to stay and see Ryuji get it. He sped back home, nerves frayed.

Ryuji came down at his own leisure. He didnt have any chores that day, so he could afford to take his time. 

He had a good feeling about today, though, when did he not have a good feeling about a day where he could do practically nothing?

He casually threw his shoe locker open and found a new letter. It didn't flutter out like the last one, it was almost at the back of his locker.

He had an easier time believing it was real this time, it was less like a dream. That didn't undermine the excitement he felt when he reached out and touched the envelope. He turned it in his hands, a sticker sealing it.

He suddenly needed to go home very quickly.

\--

_Sakamoto Ryuji,_

_Hopefully you’ll get this from my hands this time. I was the one who wrote that letter a few days ago. I hope that knowing who I am doesn't ruin anything, but you at least deserve to know that I love you. I thought of your determination when I wrote this. It's one of those things I really like about you. I don't want this to be weird, so if you don't accept, please feel free to forget this happened._

The words echoed in Mishima's head. He must have had a billion drafts of it in his garbage can. He kind of wished he could throw that one in too. Why was it so hard to get this love letter thing right? In fact, why did he even think that method of confessing to Ryuji was the best way to do it? The only advantage to it was that he could run away easily…

He guessed he was ok at writing too, but not ok enough. If he wasn't brave enough to even sign his name of hand it to Ryuji personally, did he really deserve Ryuji’s love? Ryuji probably wanted someone at least as half as daring as himself, someone who would stand side by side with him instead of just following him. With that in mind, maybe Mishima was being selfish, greedy even, for wanting Ryuji to let him tag along on whatever adventure he had come up with. To be pulled out of his comfort zone by Ryuji. 

_“I thought of your determination when I wrote this.”_

Mishima sighed as the sentence chased that thread of thoughts away. Such a sappy line… but… it was true.

One more try couldn't hurt.

Mishima tried to will himself to shed the blankets he had buried himself in, but he realized that his eyelids were getting kind of heavy. That wouldn't be any good for letter writing. Maybe he could just take a little nap… just a little rest and he could finish… finish tomorrow.

\--

The next day, it was Mishima who made the trip to Ryuji’s classroom. The blonde looked like he was just about to pack up, but stopped and showed his bright smile when he noticed Mishima. He suppressed a sigh and hoped he wasn't blushing.

“Hi Sakamoto!”

“Hey!” Ryuji said, plopping back into his chair. “You beat me this time!”

“I guess so,” Mishima said happily, bouncing off of Ryuji’s energy. He picked up an empty chair and brought it to Ryujis desk. It screeched a bit as he set it down. “How's it been?”

“Pretty good!” Ryuji replied. “I actually got another letter,”

Mishima tried his hardest to control his nervous habits.

“R-really?” And failed.

“Yeah!” Ryuji paused for a moment. “I mean, dont worry or nothin’, I’m sure someone will write you one too.”

“Huh?” Was that really the vibe he was giving off? Ryuji scrunched his eyebrows in some sort of mix between confusion and concern. “I really dont mind that you have an admirer you know,” he continued, it was a little too defensive, but apparently enough to save his ass.

“Whatever you say, dude.” Ryuji said, still with a shadow of worrry. Mishima loved that he payed attention enough to him to look out for how he felt. He hated that the concern Ryuji had for him was because he was so transparent. “Anyways, I was thinking, who would have written these? She writes like shes close to me but…”

“I wouldnt know most of your friends, Sakamoto,” Mishima tried to tease.

“I know, I know, but Im pretty sure some of the girls I know wouldnt write this to me,”

“Well, you never know,”

A pause.

“M-maybe its a guy?” Mishima broke the silence like glass, and shocked himself with the statement. He felt like there were shards everywhere. He looked to Ryuji, expecting that maybe he had pieced it together and would reject him right then and there. But when he looked back at the other, he actually looked calm. He was wondering harder.

“A guy, huh?”

Lunch passed peacefully


	3. Dressed Up In Quotations And Fluff

Ryuji couldn't help but lay awake in bed that night. A boy… that opened a lot of opportunities. He thought of his possibilities. Akira hadn't come back yet, and he was always so forward anyways. Yusuke? He'd have to take the train over to Shujin to deliver a note… Mishima? But the writing seemed too open for him, Mishima always seemed to be hiding one thing or another. Although, Ryuji’s mind lingered on Mishima. His heart fluttered with the thought of Mishima opening up to him, and then promptly sank with the conclusion that Mishima probably didn't write it. Maybe he was just lingering on one possibility for too long. Maybe it was just something from some sports club member wrote.

His mind kept flipping through people who might have been writing these, but soon enough Ryuji drifted back to Mishima. Ryuji kept telling himself it wasn't him, but the thought of Mishima thinking out a letter to someone made him oddly happy. He sighed. A big part of him wished that it was Mishima, but he couldn't put his finger on why.

Ryuji was tired. His brain was just too fogged up to think about the letters anymore, or to try and understand why he kept coming back to Mishima.

He cleared his bed and got under the covers, drifting off into sleep.

\--

_A warm, familiar hand in his, a genuine smile that felt like an honor to see. Soft hair with barely seen dye. A tug in his heart._

\--

Ryuji dipped back into consciousness hours before his alarm sounded, fragments of the dream and a flutter in his heart. In his half-asleep state, it made sense.

 _Oh,_ he thought. _I love Mishima._

He soon fell back asleep.

\--

Mishima was up late, one hand scrawling words on a paper as slowly as he could and the other anchoring said paper. He couldn't mess up the handwriting after all, this could be his final draft.

_I think about you every day,_

No, that would just sound creepy, he didn't want to scare him off. He erased the line.

_I'm sorry that this is the third,_

That one just wasn't forward enough, and completely off topic. He should steer off of his apologies unless it was necessary. Again, he erased it.

_I want you to know how much I love you,_

It was… good… but it was missing something. It didn't get everything across, he'd keep the concept but rework the wording. He erased quickly this time, tearing the paper. Mishima stared at it in disbelief before groaning and grabbing fistfuls of his hair.

“Why can't I ever do this right?” He complained loudly, voice traveling the otherwise empty house. He crumpled up the paper and dropped it towards the trash can. Somehow it missed, causing Mishima to grow even more frustrated with himself.

This was the third time, and he still couldn't get it right. Still hadn't been able to even sign one. Still hadn't even been able to hand it to Ryuji. This was almost more hellish than the first two times. He needed this one to be perfect, to be the one he could give with no anxiety. At the very least he needed to get it done. He needed to be someone Ryuji would be proud to hang out with. Someone he could think about dating.

It was those thoughts that kept him going. Maybe if he did it well enough Ryuji wouldn't be mad at him, might even like him back. He had to hope.

Five more sheets of paper were torn before he looked towards the dwindling stack of blank paper and decided to just call it quits for the night. Maybe he could get some ideas from dating simulators…

He turned his computer on.

\--

Ryuji didn't pay attention in class the next morning, for once not only because the lecture was boring. When he woke up, liking Mishima was no longer a sleepy conclusion to be forgotten. It was a fact, and he was still reeling. How did he not figure it out earlier?

When Akira, Mishima, and Ryuji went to flirt with girls in Hawaii, he could remember himself glancing at Mishima more often then any of the girls they came across. He was so tense and nervous, if it were anyone else he'd be frustrated, but with Mishima? Ryuji thought it was cute. He just couldn't stop looking. At one point Mishima glanced back, something unreadable in his expression, and Ryuji got embarrassed. He knew he usually wasn't bothered by that kind of small stuff, but now he knew why.

Another time, after him and Mishima had started hanging out for a while, he remembered them going to an arcade together. He caught a glimpse of Mishima’s smile. He was enchanted by the rare tug of the other’s lips, it was like stars shining in Tokyo. He tripped up on the game they were playing because of that. Mishimas smile grew tenfold and he almost laughed when he won. Ryuji didn't find himself becoming more competitive, but happy for Mishima. Now he knew why.

So many little things that weren't normal for him to do, all because of Mishima. So many things about the blue haired boy that were wonderful, that without knowing it, he fell in love with.

Fingers flew across his phone screen. Maybe doing it this impulsively wasn't the best, but Ryuji was anxious to know how Mishima felt.

\--

Mishima packed his bag slowly, waiting for people to trickle out before he finally took a deep breath and made the journey. He didn't know why Ryuji wanted to meet him after school, in a classroom too. He hoped he wasn't too much of a train wreck to hang out with him, seeing as he was still well stocked with cheesy lines and strategies. 

It wasn't like he was nervous, just paranoid, or maybe a mix of the two. Maybe somehow Ryuji found out, and he wouldn't be friends with him anymore. Maybe other people found out and were going to ambush him. Maybe some people didn't find out, but they would ambush him anyways. There were a lot of bad possibilities. But, no matter his fate, he walked to Ryuji’s classroom and hoped it wouldn't be too bad.

What was there was Ryuji and only Ryuji. He was leaning against his desk, backlit by sunlight as if it could make him even brighter. He looked up as Mishima entered.

“Hey!” Ryuji said, “I almost thought you weren't coming!”

“Sorry, I guess I was just a little slow today,” Mishima replied. There was no ambush, so that just left the possible scenarios to him being horribly rejected. _Please don't mention the letters!_

“So, uh, you know those letters I've been getting?”

_SHIT._

“Yeah? What's up with them?” Mishima was trying his best to act normal, but his heart was beating fast and hard to keep itself from sinking.

“Well I- hear me out- I've been thinking about stuff like that, and, well, I think… I think I'm probably gonna reject whoever wrote them, and this might sound weird, cause…” Ryuji paused to try to get his words together. “Well, cause I found out that I think I- I love you,”

Mishimas face was covered in wide eyed shock for a split second before he began to laugh, covering his mouth as he did.

“H-hey! Don't laugh! I really mean it!” Ryuji said in a panic, voice cracking with his feelings.

“No, no!” Mishima said, holding up his free hand and trying to catch his breath. “I just, I think that's gonna be a little hard because, well,” A few of Mishimas giggles escaped as a reprise to his disbelief. He really didn't expect it to take this turn. “I wrote those letters, Sakamoto,”

It was Ryujis turn to be shocked.

“You… Really?”

“Ye-yeah,” Mishima started tugging at hairs. “And I mean, the offers still up there, I mean from the letters, if you want to be my boyfriend… or, if you want me to be your boyfriend? Um-” He was rambling and he knew it, but even still a shining smile that only Ryuji could pull off spread on said blonde’s face.

“Hell yes!!” He almost shouted, pumping the air with enthusiasm. He almost went to pull Mishima in for a hug, too, but stopped. “Uh, hey, Yuuki,” he said, testing out the waters of first name basis. “Can I- can I kiss you?”

Mishima's eyes shone with so many things. Wonder, euphoria, love, adoration, happiness.

“Yes!” He exclaimed.

Two pairs of warm lips pecked against each other, an almost electric pull. Mishima pulled Ryuji back in for a second, Ryuji being surprised by his forwardness. 

After that there was a nice feeling in the classroom. A feeling of comfort. Hope. Everything would be ok. Mishima leaned on Ryuji, which miraculously didn't slide the desk. Soon they were both laughing. In disbelief, in joy, or even just to hear the others laugh. Basking in the new love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING ALL THREE CHAPTERS!!! I think this is my first finished multi chapter, I think! Wow! Anyways, I think I'll probably write some oneshots to go along and put em in a series, but that's future, no guarantees!
> 
> But yeah, love be to the readers, Ryushima, and Los Campesinos!! Seriously, listen to their albums, they're good, I promi

**Author's Note:**

> The title and chapter titles are based on the song "A Heat Rash In The Shape Of The Show Me State, Or; Letters From Me To Charlotte" by Los Campesinos!. No bearing on the plot, I just think the song and the and are neat. Check em out sometime.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
